You’ve probably heard the saying: “To love, you have to first love yourself.” This saying truly gets to the heart of Lauren Mackler’s Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness and Transform Your Life.
I have to be completely honest, I’m biased in writing this review. Lauren Mackler was my career coach and instrumental in inspiring me to start Sheer Balance. So when it came to reviewing her book, I was sold even before I had my very own signed copy in hand. Although I never hired Lauren as a life coach, Lauren’s methodologies and approach as a career coach were sound, practical and results oriented. After reading Solemate, I can honestly attest that the same holds true for her approach to life coaching.
While many of Lauren’s contemporaries and colleagues fall into the “Law of Attraction” arena, which for some of us seems way to ambiguous, dreamy and borderline “hoo-haey,” Lauren’s approach to finding happiness is packaged neatly into a step-by-step process that is commonsensical, relevant and real. She has created a road-map that has real destinations with real purpose. In short, it is easy to understand why her process works and why anyone, no matter their life experiences, can adopt her philosophy and her teachings. Solemate is the perfect book for anyone at any age…single or not…looking to find more happiness, purpose and overall mental well-being.
After delivering 12-week intensive workshops called Mastering the Art of Aloneness, Lauren had a strong passion for extending her reach and thus, Solemate was born. Lauren takes the reader through a process of reclaiming one’s wholeness within themselves, rather than looking externally to feel a sense of completeness and well-being. She helps the reader discover who they really are, deep down, by uncovering the various layers of life conditioning. She then helps us to liberate our true selves to live the life we want. Here are some of my favorite pieces that she discusses:
- Family Systems: Lauren helps us examine our family and its influence on our development, our ability to be whole, our perceptions and how all of this may or may not have limited our ability to seek a natural, healthy balance.
- Fear: The limitations we put on ourselves as a result of fear…whether the fear is of failure, of being alone, you name it…can have a detrimental impact on our ability to find happiness and success. Lauren provides us with five steps to managing fear so that we can move beyond it into a better place.
- Deliberate vs. Default Living: I like to akin this to active vs. auto-pilot. We often go through life…going through the motions. Lauren helps us get past the day-to-day default and move into a more active, deliberate, seize the day type of mindset.
- Wholeness: We often seek the company of others to “complete” ourselves. But, in reality, we never can fully complete ourselves through someone else. Lauren teaches us how to reclaim our own wholeness so that we can live more completely, without relying or depending on others to make us so.
Whether you are married, single, divorced, widowed or looking for love, Lauren Mackler’s Solemate will provide you with a new, healthy-minded approach to create the life you desire. She helps us to get passed the idea that “aloneness” is being “alone” and instead gives us the tools and a “road-map” for gaining mastery of our own lives.