Recently, I was in the market for some special card stock for my art business, and I was going back and forth between two products I didn’t love. I kept thinking, “I really wish they had my favorite card-stock available in the size I want.” I finally called the company to ask about the two sub-par products and happened to say, “I really wish you had X product (my favorite one) in X size.” The representative then informed me that it WAS available, and because I called, they realized there was a glitch in their system that showed it as unavailable! Had I not made that call I never would have gotten my favorite card-stock, and maybe more importantly, the company would never have fixed their glitch.
I tend to live by the motto: if you ask, you shall receive. And often, this motto works. To get what we want, we sometimes are required to simply ask for it. When we don’t, we are robbing ourselves of the happiness we can have from merely getting what we want. Yet, so many of us struggle to do this one simple task.
For some, asking for something feels very uncomfortable. The possibility of a “no” can prompt a fear of rejection or a fear of looking ridiculous for having asked at all. For others, they worry that they will be perceived as annoying or high maintenance. And others, they take much of life at face value and assume if something isn’t available, isn’t articulated or isn’t visible, it isn’t an option. Unfortunately, these ways of thinking do nothing accept keep us from getting what we want.
What You Can Do
If you are one of the many who struggle to ask for what you want, consider the following:
- Asking May Benefit Others: Your asking may very well do others some good, while not asking for something may actually deprive others of getting what they want. In the story I tell above, had I not asked about the product I wanted, the company might have missed out on sales, and other customers may have gone elsewhere.
- You Could Drive Change: There are countless permutations of how things can go, products that can be made, or ideas that can be realized, but they can only be so if someone lights the way. The mere act of asking is what sparks creativity, progress and change. What YOU ask for could give rise to new solutions, new products, or new ideas.
- Your Happiness Depends On It: Even if you don’t get a “yes” in return you will increase your happiness. When you ask for what you want, you are standing up for your needs and desires, and are naturally building self-esteem which is crucial to your happiness. And the more you do get what you want, the more you’ll feel good about yourself and your capabilities in driving your own happiness.
When you are reluctant to ask for something, stop yourself and ask, “What is the worst can happen?” Probably nothing. Next time you want something, simply ask for it and you may be surprised at the results.
Now it’s your turn. Do you struggle to ask for what you want? If so, why do you think you do? If you DO ask for what you want, do you often get it? Share in the comments below. All of us can benefit from each others experiences, so sharing is key!
Thanks for reading and for your contributions!