Ask Brett: The Emotional Roller Coaster in Making Change

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Emotional Roller CoasterEvery week I answer questions from readers who are working through the programs in my books. If you would like to submit a question, please use the link at the bottom of this post.

Question: Is it normal to feel like you are on a roller coaster as you complete the “Self-Discovery” section of A Whole New You: Six Steps to Ignite Change for Your Best Life? And what should I do with these feelings?

- Chad from Illinois, USA

The self-discovery portion of A Whole New You is, most definitely, emotional. There’s a good chance you are unearthing some things that may have been buried deep for a long time. If you didn’t feel any emotions, I’d actually be concerned.

If you are uncovering painful memories, difficult realizations, or simply come to realize that you have been living an unauthentic life that isn’t true to who you are, it can be very emotional. Personally, I’ve gone through this, and I know many others who have as well.

Let’s say you have been working in a career that you thought you “should” be in for 10, 15, or even 20 years. You may be very successful and making good money. If you come to realize the work you are doing, however, isn’t what you really want, and instead, is a manifestation of what others expected of you, it can be frustrating and cause you to feel a whole range of emotions. You might feel angry or disappointed. You may feel sad for yourself, thinking you lost precious time that could have put towards higher and more rewarding purpose.

Or, let’s say you have been in a relationship that you feel is unrewarding and has left you feeling empty for years. Maybe you’ve spent 10 to 20 years in a marriage that you now realize has been wrong for you. Again, you might feel saddened by the loss of time or opportunities that you perceive you’ve missed. This is totally natural.

These feelings, however, are exactly what will help you make the transformation you desire. Uncovering the feelings, thoughts or emotions you’ve been hiding for so long is exactly what will allow you to start creating the life that you are really meant to live and a life that you can get excited by, each and every day. The knowledge you are acquiring, although difficult, is what will give you the clarity and a better sense of self to move forward in an authentic way. This will keep you motivated.

To get through some of the pain, remember this: life is a journey. If it was straight and narrow, we would get very bored. Believe in a little bit of “what is meant to be will be” and “everything happens for a reason.” Often, some of our mistakes and failures, or misguided experiences are important lessons for our future. They are what make us smarter and stronger for the long term. Capitalize on what you’ve LEARNED from these experiences and use them in building a better and happier future.
A Whole New YouFind out more about how to navigate your own personal transformation in A Whole New You: Six Steps to Ignite Change for Your Best Life.

Have a question you’d like me to answer? Ask here.

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  • Toya Johnson

    Great article! I am undergoing a career change from accounting contracts management sitting in a cube all day to Fashion Wardrobe Stylist. I woke up New Year’s morning 2012 and said that I was going to WORK FOR FUN! I laid in my bed and it just came to me- my next career. Intitially when I was told by a model coach I had “the knack” I did not really take in what she said bc I am not in a city known for Fashion so I thought. I just ignored myself and started searching local Fashionweeks. Once I started looking and speaking what I was doing I looked up in 2 months I had interned and did 10 fashionshows working backstage with fashion designers. I could not believe it!! Then I was fascinated by the video Dynamite by T.Cruz they are somewhere in Europe partying this song just made me happy it was fun and energetic! I kept saying that I would be popping a bottle in Milan one day soon like everyday I came home from work I would say this. Started off as a joke but I guess I kind of meant it, bc May 26th 2013 I will be leaving to do 7 week Fashion Business internship in Milan! I love my life right now/I’m single and I still love it! Interning at shows require 12 hr days most times, but you meet so many cool people it’s like WORKING FOR FUN! God Bless any one out there who is looking for the life they imagined!