I’d like to preface this post with the simple statement that this isn’t about Tony Horton’s workout, it is about his style. Now that I’m done with P90X, I wanted to address Tony Horton as a topic unto itself. I was originally going to put this in my final review, but when I started to write on this topic, it took on a life of its own and became pretty long.
If you are familiar with Tony Horton, I’m going to guess that you either love him or hate him. Personally, I find the guy outright annoying. Why? Well, here is my top 10 list of his most annoying behaviors, and examples to go along with them:
- Incessant Chatter: The man does not shut up. And, a lot of what he talks about is nonsense, INCLUDING his inability to be quiet for more than five seconds. His incessant chatter is so ridiculous, that it causes the DVDs to be much longer than the actual workout requires. For instance, if you subtract the warm-up and cool-down for the Plyometrics workout, the workout is 43 minutes and 38 seconds (including scheduled breaks). However, if you use the book, and time yourself while you do the workout, the workout is only 30 minutes and 30 seconds. Tony Horton chatters for 13 minutes of the workout. That is almost 30% of the “scheduled” workout!
- Awful Commentary and Jokes: Prior to becoming a fitness guru, Tony Horton tried his hand as a stand-up comedian. Unfortunately, he did not leave his jokes behind. He makes awful, awful, dorky, terribly not funny jokes throughout these videos. And when he isn’t making jokes, he is making strange commentary. Although most of these need some context (a good number come from the Kenpo and Core Synergistics workouts), here are some of his most annoying, yet amusing sayings:
- “Pam, we’re being chased! She’s working on one of those Private Investigation Deals and she got in trouble. She’s checking out people with hand guns! Go Faster Pam! They’ve got hand guns!”
- “If you ever get incarcerated, this is what you’re going to do in your tiny little box.”
- “Let’s get busy like bunny rabbits.”
- “I love the beads of sweat coming off your face right now, it makes me happy.”
- “Real Sweat. Real People. We don’t do spray on here, we do actual DNA removal. Coming out ALL over the place.”
- “We’re all auditioning for the cover of Downward Dog Magazine.”
- “Engage, I don’t mean go and get engaged…”
- “Don’t bite your toes, I recommend foot spray.”
- “Man-o-Manoshevitz!”
- “What do you have, like 1/2 a body fat percentage? Makes me look like a fat man.” – Really Tony?
- Girly Shrills / Old Man Noises / Sexual References: If you didn’t know any better and were just listening to the audio, you might actually think that Tony Horton is selling S&M or porn videos. Beyond the girly shrills and old man noises in this MP3 I made: P90X Tony Horton Shrills , he makes lots of comments like:
- “Slap it! Make it feel nice!”
- “Oh, That’s Good Mommy!”
- “Smack Me! Smack Me!”
- “Hit Me! Hit Me!”
- “Oh, I feel that in so many fantastic places!”
- “Get your freakin’ knees up, get your pants up.”
- “Dreya stripped down, ready for action. Pam’s still wearing that sweatshirt…it will come off soon.”
- “You would think Shawna would be all the way down to the floor, but no one’s perfect.”
- “It will feel like a ride you never had before.”
- “Oh boy that’s tight on me, but I like it!”
- Constant “Bring It” Commentary: Tony Horton loves to tell people to “Bring it.” I get it…it’s his motto. But he overuses it big time. Also, he publicizes Beachbody and BeachBody.com on a highly regular basis.
- Annoying Accents: Everything from German, to Spanish, to I have no freakin clue. Tony Horton comes up with at least two accents each workout. Sometimes he’ll say words with a strange accent, such as “Perty” for pretty or “Gawgeous” for gorgeous. Just say the real word buddy. Speak like a normal person.
- Doesn’t Do Most of the Workouts: I get it, he is teaching the workout. That said, he constantly tells the audience that he talks too much and needs to work harder, or has excuses as to why he can’t do the exercises. Either be the teacher and deal with the fact that you aren’t working out, or do the workout and stop complaining.
- Nicknames for Participants: “Pam the Blam,” “Honey Pie,” “Mr. Flex and Breathe,” “Banana Boy,” “Wild Man,” the list goes on. Further, he loves calling everyone in his class “Dude, Bro, Brother…” Tony Horton loves nicknames.
- Overuse of Cues: In some cases, he will repeat a cue over and over again. For instance, “Knees up, Knees up, Knees up, Knees up, Knees up, Knees up…”
- Constant References to Movies and Entertainment: I get that he is in LA, but honestly, enough with the movie references.
- “You make Gumby look like the Tin Man.”
- “I love core ’til my Daddy Takes My T-Bird Away.”
- “I got shot in the Buttocks. They say it’s a million dollar wound, but I have yet to see a dime.”
- “Some people call me Forest Gump.”
- “There she is from the Exorcist.”
- “Open up the chest more…There she Blows!”
- “Wes only bleeds on the inside.”
- “Come on Pete Townshend!”
- His Long Diatribes: Although Tony Horton will diatribe away throughout all of his videos, this one really gets me: Tony Horton Diatribe.
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Wow. What negative energy and wasted time. Totally inaccurate in terms of “chatter” taking up a large portion of the workouts. If you’re actually doing the workouts correctly, you’re moving the entire time he’s talking. Whether that be a warm up, workout, 30 sec breaks or cool down. I’m guessing whoever posted these rants is not only way chattier than tony (in a bad way) but also either didn’t finish the 90days due to weakness or didn’t get results from them due to inability.
I for one love Tony Horton! The point of his commentary is 1) to encourage good form (hence the repetition), and 2) to use humor to try to take the mind off the discomfort of the current exercise. I like the constant tips, because I’ll often get half way through a set, he’ll say “knees up” and sure enough my knees are drooping. Since he can’t actually see what you’re doing through the TV, I think he is imagining what could go wrong, and trying to give feedback.
If you don’t like his sense of humor, remember, at the end of the day, he’s not a comedian, he’s a trainer. I love P90X and enjoy Tony on the DVDs.
If Tony’s comments are an issue, continue the exercise move till he is done talking. In my eyes, his commentary is a good time for a beginner to take a little breather. I enjoy the fact his personality is bubbly and energetic! Sometimes he just gets so excited he word vomits. I myself am a bubbly and energetic person and I love being around people who are the same. Tony gets people excited about getting off the couch and watching his videos
I have to agree completely with this article. I am on week 8 and I can’t wait to be done with this guy. I even use just the ques and he still gets on my nerves. The workout is amazing but gets so annoying especially the yoga since you can’t mute Tony. I will complete the program and design my own hybrid routine to maintain. I can’t believe they couldn’t give you an option of an edited down version without all the wasted time. The stretch workout can be done in 25 minutes if he would just shut up. Didn’t he think that people would get it after doing this 20 times.
Wow. You might have spent way too much time concentrating on Tony’s chatter and not enough on the workouts! Tony is goofy and annoying. No dispute. I listened to his blather a grand total of *ONCE* for some technique pointers… and then have selected the “music and cues” option for the remainder of the program. I’ve worked through the program 4 times now – with a couple of slacker timeframes. Always with great results. I have modified to delete workouts I don’t like (e.g. Kenpo and Yoga) and added other gym workouts as substitues. No worries.
I’d say to lighten up, do the work for 3 months, and enjoy your new body.
p.s. You forgot “Don’t smash your face!”
Hi Kyle!
As mentioned at the beginning of the post, the commentary wasn’t a reflection of the workout…just a reflection on his personality. I think his workout is pretty good. Although I’d argue that the cardio isn’t very good. I much prefer to do something a bit more challenging. In short, this was meant to be humorous.
Thank and good luck!
Brett
Each to their own. You may find workouts that YOU consider much better, but that’s your taste. Doesn’t mean everyone else would follow. P90X is great for me. I am getting results and enjoy the different DVD’s. I have absolutely no reason to look elsewhere.
I don’t see how 90% of your list of “outright annoying” things should even matter. Who cares what he says while you are working out, who cares if he is or isnt funny. Print out the worksheets and follow them on your own. It’s faster, you can listen to music and you can go as fast as you want.
Personally I think Tony is awesome, down to earth and not some “be your TV personality while recording”.
To address the comment:
“My hunch is that those who love it don’t know that there are SO many better workouts, dvd’s and programs out there that are more maintainable over time… meaning they get you long-term results, unlike P90X.”
You know what my hunch is? You bought p90x thinking that in 90 days you’d be in amazing shape and could stop doing anything afterwards. Honestly after reading this review I would think there is potentially something wrong with your brain that you should fix, before you proceed to try and fix your body. p90X, atleast for me, has helped me get what I want, at which point I proceed to mix the workouts in with my own workouts. Also, I am not as much for “looking good” as I am for a combination of looking AND being good. P9oX offers both of these.
So many skinny fat people these days…”cardio isnt hard enough” then do plyo…and if you still dont think its hard enough, do it twice.
I absolutely agree and is one of the major reasons I’m sending it back. I love working out and it’s a drag to stop what I’m doing in order to fast-forward through his chatter. For all that money, I shouldn’t HAVE to stop my workout to fiddle with the remote. And it actually impedes the workout’s efficiency. It boggles my mind that this program is such a big hit, and how staunchly those who love it defend it. My hunch is that those who love it don’t know that there are SO many better workouts, dvd’s and programs out there that are more maintainable over time… meaning they get you long-term results, unlike P90X.