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Ask Brett: Dealing with the Scariness of Change

Every week I answer questions from readers who are working through the programs in my books. If you would like to submit a question, please use the link at the bottom of this post.

Question: The idea of making changes is very scary. What can I do to ensure I keep moving through the tasks in A Whole New You: Six Steps to Ignite Change for Your Best Life and push ahead with what I need to do?

- Julie from Maine, USA

Answer: This is a very valuable question, and one many people have. I hear people verbalize this “scary” sensation all the time.

Change is scary because it often causes us to explore the “unknown.” Even the “hell we know” can seem less daunting than the “heaven we don’t.” We see this all the time in the woman or man who never leaves an abusive relationship, the unfulfilling job, or the unhappy living situation. Even when it is CLEAR we need to make change, fear and “scariness” can paralyze us into staying put, even in the worst of situations. Crazy, isn’t it?

When scariness starts to be all-too-consuming, there are a few things to consider:

  • Scary is often a good sign. It means you are going out of your comfort zone and when we go out of our comfort zone, we are pushing ourselves to go beyond the status quo. This often leads to some extraordinary things. When we don’t do things that scare us a little, life can become boring, and we can become stagnant and unhappy.
  • When you struggle with the “scariness” of the change you are looking to make, ask yourself a few questions:
    • What am I really scared of?
    • Are these fears based in reality or am I letting my imagination get the best of me?
    • What is the worst that can happen if I make this change?
    • What is the best that can happen if I make this change?

The more you can understand where the “fear” or “scariness” comes from, the more you can address it and attack it head on. Often, our fears aren’t based in reality, but instead, are based in our imagination running wild with worst case scenarios.

Instead of focusing on the negative possibilities, focus on the positive. Write the story of the happiness, the joy, and the amazing feelings you’ll get from making the changes you want in a journal. Keep this story close by and easily accessible so when scariness sets in, you can remind yourself of the positive things that will come from the change. The more you focus on the positive, the more you’ll beat the fear. When you start to feel yourself getting “scared” replay the “happy” story you wrote.

Finally, allow yourself to daydream…it is healthy! And, it will keep you in an emotionally motivating place!

A Whole New YouLearn more about tackling fears and igniting passion within to make the change you want with A Whole New You: Six Steps to Ignite Change for Your Best Life.

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Posted in Ask Brett, Brett's Blog, Change / Reinvention, Mind-Body Tagged with: , ,